As I said. Very rough.
I don't think I've mentioned before on here that my roommate and I joined a soccer team! We both love it and miss it and wish we had never stopped playing so I found us a team. We went to a field today to kick the ball around and get some touches in before the first official practice on the 12th. On our way there we came across these growing in someone's front garden. I really used to dislike succulents because generally I love lush, green, overflowing gardens. But somewhere along the line I grew a love for these little guys and had to snap some pictures.
They remind me of how badly I want to go to the desert. I don't know what it is, but this desire of mine has only gotten stronger over the years, especially recently. On my list of places to go is Palm Springs. It's a time capsule. It took a detour in the 1960's and apparently never left. It would be like stepping back in time and I can't wait for my chance to go.
In other news, I've started work on my leather shorts. They're going to be tricky. My advice to anybody taking this project on would be to find a pair of leather trousers/pants that already fit you well in the butt region. Because if you're like me, and buy a pair that are huge all over, your job will be ten times harder. I'm still not sure just how much alteration these bad boys are gonna require but I plan on staring at them for hours until the simplest solution comes to me. Perhaps that's what I'll do right now.
In other other news, I get to stay on at the bookstore! I am so happy and excited. I love it there and apparently it shows. One of my managers put in a good word for me. My hours are getting cut back, thank god, so I'll actually have time for sleep and the massive amounts of reading I'm expecting this semester.
I mentioned a few days ago that things have been feeling kind of off lately. But if I'm being honest, they've been off for some time. I've been thinking for awhile about taking a semester or a year off school to try to get some new perspective. I feel like I've been going through the motions all of my life, half asleep and waiting for something to wake me up. I do well in school, that's never been an issue. But it's not a challenge for me anymore. It's not interesting or fun or engaging. I've been in school for 14 years and I'm feeling like it's time for a change. I fully intend to get a degree, and I still plan on majoring in fine arts. But I feel like I need to take some time to figure out what I really want and what really makes me happy without having to factor school into it. My life has revolved around school for nearly 75% of my life and it needs to start revolving around something more fulfilling. When school, sleep, and work are the only things going on in your life, there's a lack of focus. At least for me. I haven't been truly challenged or passionately focused in...I couldn't even tell you how long. Ever.Yes, certain classes are harder than others, or expect something from me that others don't. This doesn't make them challenging, however. Or interesting. Or worth my time. Even my art is unfocused. All I can say is that I want to make things. Art, clothes, furniture; I want to learn to make metal jewelry and weld; I want to dye fabrics; I want to design rooms; I want to be a stylist. Those are just a few of the many things I want to pursue. I'm all over the place and I feel like I have no time to figure it out. At this point I'm wasting the money my parents spend on my tuition because I would much rather be somewhere else. So this is something I'm going to be thinking about for the next few months. I've spoken to my parents about it before and know that I would have their support if time off is what I choose. But I'm scared of stepping outside the lines. The very thick, very dark lines I drew for myself a very long time ago.
-LG
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