When I'm not thinking about my time off, I'm thinking about my change of major (from communication studies to fine art) and whether it's the right choice. I haven't officially changed it yet since there are prerequisites that have to be met before I'm eligible, so I have time to do some soul searching. And I have my doubts. I'm concerned that just pursuing a career in art alone won't be enough for me. In fact I know it won't. If that was really where my heart's at, I would spend every free second I had creating instead of...well, not. I have too many other personal qualities and skills that I would love to apply to my career/job/life. First of all, I would like to run my own business. I realize that in a way an artist is their own business, but I want more than that. I mentioned in a previous post some of the things I want to do, like interior design, fashion styling, photography, art, making furniture, metal working, etc. I know I'd be hard pressed to create a business that included all of those things in their entirety. But some kind of design consulting business could potentially offer all of those things in one way or another. I want to be able to incorporate all of my skills into one cohesive business. The reason why I don't want to just sell my own work as a product is because I thrive under the pressure of work. I love trying to take what people want and make it a reality. Mix that with a deadline and the knowledge that someone is counting on you to get it right and you have the perfect combination. You are your own competitor and you're constantly challenging yourself to be better and dig deeper. I not only love to create but I love to manage. It's too bad the idea of working a 9 to 5 desk job in corporate America repulses me, because I would be good at it. So this is my challenge: dream up a business that combines my desire for hands-on creation with my ability to run a system smoothly. This leads me to the beginning of my list.
Things I Will Do During "The Big Break"
1. Take basic sewing classes (at least basic). Self taught will only take you so far if you're lazy like me
2. Experiment with more/different artistic mediums that interest me: lacquer, oil, watercolor, etc.
3. Read more! I love reading but reading for school doesn't leave much time for "pleasure reading". And the books I read will include both novels and books on design of all kinds
4. Start taking art classes to experiment/expand my horizons on what forms are out there
5. Meet more people and make more plans (yes, I can be more vague, believe it or not)
6. Do all the things I can't do while in school. For instance: go to open mic nights, poetry readings, concerts/shows, see movies, plays, travel a bit, find new restaurants and thrift shops
7. Make a ridiculous amount of money so that #6 is possible
8. GET MY LICENSE! Yes it's true, I do not have my license. Obviously that needs to change.
9. Be more adventurous. Be a "yes woman". I won't go so far as to say "yes" to every proposition I'm presented with because I'm just not that brave. But I'll say yes a lot! (again with the vagueness)
10. Cook more. I love food, I love cooking, and I love to try new recipes. Our kitchen is the size of a closet, however, and trying to fit all four of us in there is one clown short of a circus. Plus, I'm not very motivated to cook when my only coherent thoughts during a busy day are "coffee" and "sleep". But that will change if I'm not a full time student, which means I can cook all I want!
11. Write more. Usually I write while in class. Not the best use of my time. I need to continue doing well in school no matter how much I currently resent it, which means focusing in my classes, which means not writing when I should be listening/taking notes.
12. Take more pictures. I plan for this to be a more immediate change but I thought I'd put it on the list for good measure.
13. Get acquainted with Photoshop. If I plan on owning a multi-faceted design firm, I need to know the basics at least.
14. Get outside more. Joining the soccer team will help with this. But I live in one of the most beautiful regions in the country and it is just shameful how little of it I explore.
15. Spend more time with friends.
16. Spend time with family. I already do this, but I enjoy it so it's on the list.
17. Continue improving the blog so that it can one day be everything I want it to be. Not being a full time student will mean having the time to explore the internet for more inspiration, post it here, and also try my own attempts at whatever it is I take a fancy to. Less talk, more action!
That's what I have so far. I'll keep adding and editing as I think of things, but I'll stop for now to spare you from my spinning wheels. It is officially late, the caffeine has worn off, and I have work in the morning. So it is time for me to go lay in bed and remember all the things I didn't get done today, vow to do them tomorrow, and swiftly forget every last one. Goodnight all.
-LG
PS I just reread this and realized how scatterbrained this all is. The real goal of "the big break" is to focus. I am all over the place. I'm already planning a business and haven't even narrowed myself down yet. I need to take all of this creative energy and begin to focus it toward a more cohesive...entity, if you will. I don't need to pick one thing and one thing only from my ever-growing list of interests. But I need to narrow it down considerably. And that will be the point of taking a break. Yes I still want to try/do all of the things on my list. But eventually I need to be able to edit myself down to a more focused and driven individual.
As far as my thoughts on the art major go: I still want to major in art because if I didn't I'm not sure what else I would get a degree in, and an FA background is highly valuable for me no matter what. But while pursuing my BFA at SF State, I will need to be responsible for exploring other things elsewhere if necessary in order to remain well rounded. Okay now that really is all for now, and I'll leave you with the possible inspiration for a small series of pieces I'm thinking of doing:
This is a small (clearly unfinished) sketch I did awhile back, during class no doubt. I found it the other day and suddenly got a bunch of hazy potential ideas. I will keep you posted.
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